


Dog Days

by Bluerider



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Comedy, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluerider/pseuds/Bluerider
Summary: A ridiculous short story with a ridiculous premise just for fun. Alex has a low 'ew' threshold.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 119





	Dog Days

Alex Danvers walked through the DEO, glaring pointedly around her as agents dived away and tried to look busy.

Beside her, a fluffy golden retriever wagged its feathery tail slightly as it bounced along, keeping pace.

Alex raised her voice. “If anyone thinks the ‘no-photos’ directive from five minutes ago was just a suggestion, think again. And then think about immediate termination with extreme prejudice! Which I’ll enjoy thoroughly!”

The flurry of movement as agents immediately and ostentatiously tucked phones away into drawers was slightly comical but Alex's scowl determinedly remained.

Suddenly the dog froze mid-bounce. Alex stopped. The golden head turned in the direction of the entrance to the DEO. And then the dog took off.

 _Crap._ Alex gave chase. “Come back here! Kara!”

…

She rounded the last corner to see Lena Luthor coming in and the golden retriever wuffing happily and skidding to a stop in front of her, tail frantically waving.

“Awww ….” Lena got down on one knee and began to scratch softly behind its ears. The dog went into an ecstasy of happy squirming. “What a sweetie you are …” Her voice dipped into a low and soothing register. Evidently Lena Luthor was a dog person.

_Huh. Who’d a known?_

Alex grinned and relaxed. The no-photos rule was strict and mandatory for DEO agents but big sisters went all out for blackmail material on their sibs. That was _totally_ a rule, right? Her phone was out and its camera clicking before she could stop herself.

Lena was, it seemed, quite good at spoiling dogs. The golden retriever was wriggling non-stop under her hand, panting joyfully. Then it slid onto its stomach and rolled over.

“ _Ohhh_ …” Lena said softly. “You’re a _girl._ ”

Alex gulped, paled and, without thinking, slid her phone back into her pocket.

…

Alex hustled Lena down a corridor. The golden retriever was doing an excellent imitation of championship canine dressage, its right shoulder glued to the outside of Lena’s left knee and its head tilted up to gaze continually and devotedly at Lena’s puzzled face.

“In here.”

Alex closed the break room door behind them and gestured Lena to the sofa.

Lena took a seat. The dog leapt up lightly beside her and huffed contentedly as it settled down with its forelegs on her lap and its head under her chin. Almost unconsciously, Lena began playing a silky golden-furred ear.

“Alex, not that she isn’t cute as anything but why is there a dog at the DEO? And why did you ask me to come over?”

Alex cleared her throat. “Well, funny you should ask that …”

Lena narrowed her eyes at the stalling.

Alex hurried on. “ThedogisreallyKarabutshe’llchangebacksoon ….” She blew out the rest of her breath.

“ …the HELL?!!” Lena’s arms came up to surround the dog protectively.

“There was this alien goo,” Alex explained. “It was meant to go into a matter conversion thingy.”

“Thingy.” Lena looked distinctly unimpressed. The dog licked her neck and whined happily.

“It’s all right,” Alex said. “We retrieved it and we neutralized the goo. Well, not completely, obviously, but we made it harmless to organic life and we _thought_ it was completely neutralized. And then we put it on a trolley so it could be sent for incineration. Only everyone was busy so Kara volunteered to wheel the trolley to the furnace. Um … I reviewed the security footage afterwards and apparently Kara thought it looked fun, like something between Play-doh and jello. So she stuck her right hand in it. Next thing the footage shows is Kara gone and the dog there instead.”

“I’m assuming since you aren’t freaking out right now that you’re certain the transformation is reversible and harmless?”

Alex nodded.

“How can you be certain this _is_ her? Or that, if it is, her consciousness remains intact?”

Alex held up a finger. “Kara!” she singsonged.

The dog turned its head to her alertly.

“Potstickers, Kara!”

The dog sat up. It didn’t leave Lena but its mouth opened, tongue lolling and dripping drool.

“I see,” Lena said.

“I’m theorizing that because Kara currently has a dog brain, she can’t have her full consciousness, just personality traits. So she doesn’t actually know she’s … who she is. She just thinks she’s a golden retriever called Kara. But when she resumes her usual form, she should be fine.”

“And how’s _that_ going to happen?” As no potstickers actually appeared, the dog lost interest and leaned against Lena, nuzzling her in an appeal for petting. Lena absently obliged.

 _Definitely a dog person_.

“Well, the goo has a decay rate, only it doesn’t give off anything harmful; it just slowly becomes an inactive gel. Apparently it was meant to go into the machine while it was still active and then it was used as the basis for the matter conversion. When we neutralized it, it was supposed to become that inactive gel. Well, obviously the neutralization process worked, just not completely… ” Alex gestured a bit helplessly at the dog.

Lena narrowed her eyes again. “Keep going.”

“Well … we’ve re-analysed the goo that remains and the decay rate is still going. We only missed that because we'd slowed it down so much it _looked_ like it had stopped. It should become completely inactive in about … umm … forty five minutes. So that’s when we’ll get Kara back as … well … Kara.”

“How can you be certain? It could mean that Kara remains in this form _permanently_. I can’t imagine matter conversion being a useful process to anyone if it’s only temporary.” Lena's brow knitted in concern.

“OH! That’s what the thingy was for, to make it permanent. Without it, the goo only has a temporary effect. I forgot to say we detained the operator. He explained everything to us. And we know it’s true because he wasn’t intending anything malicious. It was just to transform organisms like ants into something he could eat. But we’ve fixed his situation. He’s a newcomer to Earth. He didn’t know how to go about doing anything. So we're organising an orientation for him and we gave him some fried chicken and he was happy to eat it and … um … anyway he’s happy and he’s staying and really very friendly. He promised that Kara would be fine and that he wouldn’t make any more goo.”

“All right. So why did you call me here?”

“Well, it was just for you to check our calculations on the decay rate,” Alex said.

“You couldn’t have emailed me?”

“Well, I also thought you would find the transformation process and equipment interesting and maybe could adapt it to do useful things - and also maybe work out why Kara transformed …”

The golden retriever put an affectionate right forepaw on Lena’s bare collarbone.

“ … into a dog,” Alex trailed off. “Oh shit!”

In Lena’s place, there now sat an extremely elegant black afghan hound.

It gazed pensively round, studying the room with intelligent, regal reserve before looking down at its front leg, which was currently lying on a delighted golden retriever.

“Shit, shit, shit! ... Never mind, they’ll both be fine in a while and Lena can figure out the canine thing after … after they change back … and ...” Alex’s eyes fell on the bare sofa.

That is, the sofa that bore none of the clothes Lena had been wearing. Come to think of it, Kara’s clothes had disappeared in the corridor outside the furnace too. Clothes weren't living things so maybe the process had destroyed them ... Alex’s eyes widened in alarm. Without another word, she locked the break room door behind her and went on a mad dash for two sets of surgical scrubs.

…

Scrubs in hand, Alex cautiously unlocked the break room door and turned the knob very quietly. She pushed it open just as quietly and peered in.

Both dogs had abandoned the sofa. The afghan hound stood looking observantly around the room but then its attention was distracted by the golden retriever in front of it.

As Alex watched, the golden retriever got its forelegs and chest flat on the ground. Alex’s eyes bugged out as it turned its head back to look invitingly at the afghan hound, whined and … lifted its tail.

_AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!_

Alex threw the scrubs into the room, ducked back out quick smart and rammed her back against the outside of the door. After several seconds of total blankness, she slid slowly down until her ass hit the floor.

_I_

_Am_

_Scarred_

_For_

_LIFE!_

_UNbeLIEVable! ‘Just friends’, my sweet ASS! Kara, I’m gonna THROTTLE you_. _And if it IS the truth, I REALLY want to give you a headslap. This is NOT the way I wanted to learn what your true feelings for Lena are._

Very gently, she let her forehead drop onto her knees and thought about bleach and brains.

Since Kara, a female, had changed into a female golden retriever, it never once occurred to Alex that the sex of the transmogrified organism might be randomised or determined by anything other than the sex of the organism that underwent transmogrification. It therefore never occurred to her to check the sex of the afghan hound.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking that leaving it here will end up giving readers a lot of fun imagining what happens in the future. What do you think?


End file.
